Disclaimer: This post starts out sweet but gets rather bitter by the end. If you wear lipstick to the park I do not reccoment reading any further.
We spent what should have been a blissful three hours at the playground today. The temp was a moderate 82 degrees with a slight breeze. I sat back simply enjoying the day. Then...... I fell into the mommy trap. Or rather the mommy trap fell into me. I scouted the playgound. Always checking for another mom who appears relatively normal and looks as though they could be relied upon to deliver some decent conversation. When we arrived this afternoon there were none to be found. I took a seat under a tree and prepared to soak it all in(I might add there are MANY shade trees at this play park.) Just as I became comfortable the "Lipstick Mommies" arrived. You know the ones that always look perfect. Hair done and of course lipstick with liner even. I wear lipstick, all the time as a matter of fact. I just don't wear it to the playground, on nature walks or to ball games. Boy did I feel sloppy in my t-shirt, shorts and ball cap! Silly me. Of course as they began walking my way I just had to make eye contact. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid! The small talk began pleasantly enough. "How old is yours?" 2 1/2 " Wow, what percentile is she in? She's so small. Does she eat?" this was said with raised eyebrows and head cocked to the side even. I really did not think it merited a response. If you want to know the truth I could not think of a sarcastic comeback. Boy do I have some good ones now! Ha! The talk soon turned to gossip and I quickly glazed over and withdrew into myself for a mini nap. I'm pretty sure after going so many nights without sleep I have learned to compensate. Somewhat like a dolphin by letting half my brain sleep at time. This was a golden opportunity. After they left I was able to reflect for a bit. You know what? Who cares if I don't jog 5 miles a day. So what if my only idea of exercise is doing 20 minutes of yoga with my two year old three times a week? BTW, she is always impressed with my "Pose of the Dancer". Who cares if my hair has not seen a blow dryer or curling iron in two weeks? Who cares if my suburban has 6 months of cookie crumbs under the car seat? (That last one was not brought on by the Lipstick Moms, it just makes me feel better.) At least I know I can go home and proudly say I have not said one bad thing or gossiped about anybody in a very long time. Well, until now. D--n those Lipstick Moms!